Welcome to our weekly “Hockey Tweets of the Week” feature on Puck Drunk Love. We will aim to give you the most entertaining tweets each week from hockey players, writers and fans.
This week we have a lot of topics to cover, but we’ll start with …
The Raffi Torres Suspension
Raffi Torres was suspended 41 games for his tenth … tenth … NHL suspension. Twitter was not without its reaction:
I'm really confused as to why Raffi Torres is still employed by an #NHL team but Mike Richards doesn't have a job.
— Chad Law (@C__Law10) October 5, 2015
Why did Raffi Torres play hockey to begin with if all he was gonna do was get himself suspended every season…?
— baldman breadman era 🇮🇪🇵🇸 (@bae__guevara) October 5, 2015
How does that ginger raffi torres still have a job?
— Artura (@portapottyrules) October 5, 2015
Are you saying gingers have no souls? That’s just mean.
https://twitter.com/mnms4mel/status/651176180624715777
Well, since you asked:
Raffi Torres getting 41 games is an unspeakable outrage, the league is targeting him #FreeRaffi #sjsharks
— John Utah (@GoldenStateShow) October 5, 2015
Damn, Raffi Torres suspended for half the season? That's gotta get reduced
— Kyle Marshall (@Marshall_Law21) October 5, 2015
And just in case you had doubts about whether Raffi Torres fans were real and not just ironic:
https://twitter.com/ryanreal/status/651179529017278465
Okay, duly noted.
The Kings Get Nasty
The Sharks and the Kings have one of the fiercest NHL rivalries. Makes sense that they opened the season vs. each other, and there was no shortness of nastiness … especially with Milan Lucic wearing the black and silver. Lucic went across the ice to nail Logan Couture after Couture laid a hit on him:
https://twitter.com/TheCauldron/status/651994141245710336
🎶 Couture and Lucic Sit'n in a tree.. F-I-G-H-T-I-N-G!🎶
— Ultra Dano (@SuisunDan) October 8, 2015
That’s too many letters.
Couture laughing at Lucic as he's charging towards him might be the greatest thing ever.
— Félix Sicard (@Felix_Sicard) October 8, 2015
Until the next bacon related innovation, at least.
Dustin Brown also got into the act on Wednesday:
https://twitter.com/HockeyWebCast/status/651987136187637760
How Dustin Brown is a captain blows my mind.
— Lucas (@DontBeSaad20) October 8, 2015
https://twitter.com/TheDodgerhater/status/651986162114949120
That may be evil, but is it an acceptable amount of evil? Discuss amongst yourselves …
Dustin Brown totally just gave a mid-ice “best shaped’ of his life” to that Sharks player.
— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) October 8, 2015
Dustin Brown is in for the best suspension of his life!
— King Tufficult (@KingTufficult) October 8, 2015
[dustin brown commits a murder]
LA KINGS TWITTER: slaaayyyyy 😭😭👌👌👍🏻💯
— no spleen no spine no problem (@starkmone) October 8, 2015
https://twitter.com/DennisTFP/status/651996532980363265
At least Brent Burns is paying attention to those Department of Player Safety videos.
The Referees Ruin Banner Day
The Chicago Blackhawks were down 3-2 to the New York Rangers when an apparent tying goal by Patrick Kane was disallowed because the ref had intent to blow the whistle. It’s one of those rules that screws everybody equally (Lord knows the Rangers have gotten bitten by that rule multiple times.) But it didn’t stop one fan from thinking the worst:
How much money did you all pay the refs? @NYRangers
— Hossa (@HattrickHossa) October 8, 2015
Oh please. It’s not like the Rangers have any extra money to pay referees or anything.
The Roberto Luongo Tweet Of The Week
Possibly the most entertaining Twitter account in the NHL is that of Panthers goalie Roberto Luongo. But he also might be a trend setting influence on the league. Check this out from the middle of September:
I will make it my mission this year, work 24h around the clock 2 get Jags to bring this puppy back! It's gonna happen pic.twitter.com/NcAiEzmtmU
— Strombone (@strombone1) September 16, 2015
And you all throught it was merely a pipe dream:
BREAKING FASHION NEWS: .@68Jagr says he's growing his hair, bringing back the mullet. 'I have to.' #FlaPanthers pic.twitter.com/hkMhbG7b40
— George Richards (@GeorgeRichards) October 5, 2015
Guys we did it!!!!! https://t.co/tdgh5FWTet
— Strombone (@strombone1) October 5, 2015
Your work on Twitter is done, Mr. Luongo.
The internet was pleased and confused at the same time.
https://twitter.com/EMN430/status/651164821283471360
Should I grow out a mullet along with Jaromir Jagr or nah?
— Watty (@buttuglydude) October 5, 2015
https://twitter.com/IslandSoapBox/status/651167721225261056
https://twitter.com/sack_vegas/status/651178673421221889
Jagr’s bringing his mullet back?!?
Your move, Anze pic.twitter.com/UrmJJ497iW— LA Kings (@LAKings) October 5, 2015
The ironic part is that we all think that Jagr entered the league with the mullet. But Jaromir himself (or his representative) disproves that theory:
25 years ago, My first NHL game, started the game on first line, ended on fourth line :)))) 10.06.1990 at Washington pic.twitter.com/qbQGPDkpDy
— Jaromir Jagr (@68Jagr) October 6, 2015
Weird.
3-on-3 overtime
Hey, we’ve already had our first three-on-three overtime of the year, and the Lightning and the Flyers didn’t disappoint on Thursday night.
Well … let me amend that: The Lightning didn’t disappoint.
@NHL New OT format and the Flyers still lose in the shootout smdh
— Jesse (@215faithful) October 9, 2015
Well it only looked like a shootout, because so many skaters went in alone. The Lightning actually won on a Jason Garrison breakaway during the 3-0n-3. But the Flyers missed not one, but two penalty shots!
Well, tonight I learned that the Flyers suck at penalty shots. 😑
— Gina Ⴟ (@drawdownthem00n) October 9, 2015
Flyers PRACTICE your penalty shots we had 2 😠😠😠
— Baltazar Hernandez (@balhernandez21) October 9, 2015
https://twitter.com/HopDerek/status/652310182144421888
https://twitter.com/JoshOgron/status/652310375191347202
What’s with all the cocaine references?
It's that time in a #pens game where we realise, at least we're not the flyers.
— Tom Jeffereys (@Justannoyed) October 9, 2015
Penguins vs. Flyers. January 21st.
Ben Bishop, the winning goalie, had to like the three on three overtime, right? RIGHT?
Bishop, the winning goalie, not a fan of 3-on-3 OT, calls it a "gong show" and "goofy" http://t.co/PJZAY1ssqd
— Joe Smith (@JoeSmithNHL) October 9, 2015
Well then.
The Toronto Maple Leafs
The Leafs lost their home opener to the hated Montreal Canadiens on Wednesday. This tweet makes me sad:
https://twitter.com/DrixterBun/status/651985953431678977
But it isn’t as if Leafs fans don’t see misery coming. Consider the following exchange from late September, when Blue Jays fans invaded Baltimore to see their baseball team clinch the A.L. East against the Orioles, when an Oriole fan tried to make Jays fans feel sad by hitting them where it hurts: The Maple Leafs. But he soon found out that their hockey scars are hard … and numb.
#Orioles fan yells #MapleLeafs stink. #BlueJays fan responds, "Yes they do, we all agree about that."
— Shi Davidi (@ShiDavidi) September 30, 2015
Oh, well. Better luck next year, Leafs.